Date

It is 2:20 in the morning and I can't sleep for the 3rd time this week. So, I figured maybe my mind will quiet down if I empty it of thoughts. I went on a blind date tonight. The date started off well. We went miniature golfing and then to get shakes at Iceburg. While at Iceburg we got on the subject of cultural traditions and cremation came up. I asked his opinion on the subject and he is totally against it because he doesn't want to destroy his body. I told him I was for it because I don't like the thought of my body rotting away in the ground. I also told him it would be nice to just be twinkled at the Second Coming. His response was maybe I could just be burned with the wicked because it was free cremation. Nice right? I have never had anyone even joke with me about being considered one of the wicked. Needless to say, the night went down hill from there.

On the road to my home he was talking about why he lived in Utah. One of his reasons is because he is single. I asked him why it was good to be single in Utah. Of course his reason was there are more options here. He wondered if I disagreed. I told him I did and that I had more opportunities for marriage in Oregon. He proceeded to tell me the reason was I was too old when I moved here and I am not Utah material.

I know he is just some guy I don't ever have to see again, but he really hurt my feelings. For the past three years I have been trying to convince myself of all the reasons I am single. Then to hear from a boy I am not "Utah material" really makes me question what kind of material I am. Hearing him speak those words was a realization of my worst fears, I am old and I am different. I know I don't fit in here, but I somehow hoped it was just me being over sensitive. I guess I was wrong.