3 Nephi 17

I just re-read one of my favorite chapters of the Book of Mormon, 3 Nephi 17.  Every time I read this chapter, I am overwhelmed by the spirit.  I am reminded how much the Lord loves each of us individually.  It is just amazing that the Savior can sense the needs/thoughts/desires of the entire multitude and meet those needs while still serving each person separately.  How amazing would it have been to be there and have the Savior pull you to His knee, bless you, and heal you.  I think of how the parents must have wept as He called all the children to Him.  It must have been comforting to behold the Lord embrace each child and know no matter the destruction around them, that they were all encircled in the arms of His love.


At this very moment, I feel how much I am loved.  I know if the Savior was here right now, He would ask me to come to Him and then He would embrace me.   I know I am encircled in the arms of His love.  I know we all are.  This knowledge is truly one of the most magnificent things I possess.    

The Host

I have to admit, when I heard they were making a movie based on The Host I was pretty nervous.  The Twilight movies have been pretty bad, mostly because of Kristen Stewart, so I didn't have high hopes for this movie.  My hopes were stomped on once again when I saw who they cast as Melanie/Wanda.  Saoirse Ronan doesn't fit the description given in the book, at least I know she can act.  I recently checked out the rest of the cast and I am getting more excited.  I think they actually cast good actors and people who fit the roles they are going to play.  Although, I am not sure how I feel about Diane Kruger playing the Seeker.  She is too gorgeous!  


I just watched the teaser trailer and I think it is going to be a good movie.  I am not sure how they are going to pull off the role of Melanie/Wanda, but I am excited to see in a year.

Confused

Faith.  I understand faith to be a principal of action but there is a part of faith I don't understand.  How do you have faith in something when the only action available is prayer?  Don't get me wrong, I think prayer and faith go hand in hand but is it enough?  It seems like if you pray in faith, then you should be willing to do whatever action comes from that.  What if everything you think to try leads to an end that is no different than the beginning? Does it mean you don't have sufficient faith because your actions didn't have a result.  Is it enough to be willing to try and show that to the Lord, even if it leads back to the beginning when the only action left is prayer?

I really am trying to make sense of this, but I can't find an answer that feels "right."  I have been reading Lectures on Faith, but I haven't found the answers I am looking for.  Maybe it is enough to pray and be willing to do what the Lord asks you to do, but it somehow doesn't like it.  I want to be able to tell my Heavenly Father I have done all I can, but how can I if I don't know what more I can do?

Wow

I just got a comment from someone who read my post about the leg warmers and all I can say is WOW!  For those of you who actually know me, you would know I wasn't trying to be unkind in any way to my grandparents.  I just re-read the post and I am not sure how this person could even think that.  I feel bad this person could only see something negative when I was trying to celebrate this gift I was given. 

I only opened my blog to comments because my family said they sometimes had things to say about what I wrote.  After the comment I read, I am taking the comments off.  My blog was supposed to be a safe place for me where I could feel free to express myself without the worry of judgemental comments from people who don't know me.

For the person who left that comment, I think the name was oliver, I am sorry you were offended by what I wrote.  I wish you would take the time to read my other posts and get a better sense of who I really am and the love I have for my family.  I may joke about things, but I revere my grandparents and love them more than can ever be expressed.  I would ask the next time you rush to conclusions and feel the need to chastise someone, you get to know them first.  You may be surprised by what you find.

Fantasy

I have this dream that brings a smile to my face just thinking about.  Someday, I want to have a room in my house called "The Texture Room."  I will be the only one who has a key, I may let a few people enjoy it with me but only a select group.  You may be thinking right now, what is a texture room?  Well, it is going to be the most magical place on Earth!  I am going to have velvet curtains to run my fingers over.  Delicious smelling, thick, plush carpet to lay on and rub my feet and hands all over.  When the carpet no longer smells new, I will replace it with brand new stuff (obviously, money will be no object).  That's not all, I am going to have a leather chair to sit on will I run my feet through various kinds of sand ranging from fine to coarse.  Yes, I will run my hands through it too.  I want chalk dust to play in, oh to grab a pinch and rub it in between my fingers.  It will be glorious! 

Leg Warmers

About two years ago I got the most random Christmas present from my grandparents.  They gave me leg warmers.  I have been wondering when I would possibly wear leg warmers and I have now figured it out.  After I started using a CPAP machine, I noticed there is always air coming out of the mask and it makes my arms very cold.  When I try to wrap my arms up in my blankets the air just blows on them and it makes a very annoying sound. As I was laying there very annoyed, I remembered my leg warmers.  They make great sleeves.  I am glad I have found a use for an eighties classic!

Tender Mercies

Tender mercies, Elder Bednar spoke on this subject many conferences ago and since then I have tried to look at my own life and find those instances where I have seen a tender mercy.  For purposes of this post, I am going to define tender mercy as moment when I have seen the Lord's hand and recognized the love He has shown me.  There are two moments that stand out to me from the recent past that I wanted to share.


Moment One:  I think I have shared a part of this one, so if this is familiar, go a head and skip to moment two.  About a year and a half ago I started getting a pain in my knuckle just below my middle finger.  I didn't think too much of it even though it never really went away.  In combination with this there would be days when my arm would hurt so badly I could barely move it.  One day I noticed the knuckle was red and swollen, so I decided I should just go see the doctor.  I got into the doctor and she did her exam and casually mentions, this could be rheumatoid arthritis.  She said to just take some Motrin and I should be fine.  I went on my merry way and then it seemed like all hell broke loose in my body.  Everything started hurting and Motrin didn't work.  I went back to the doctor, she didn't believe me and wouldn't help.  (I know you are thinking, how could this be a tender mercy, I promise I am getting there.)


Probably two months later, I had given up finding any help.  My doctor didn't believe me and was unwilling to help and the pain was getting worse.  At this time, I got really sick and went to an instant care.  I found out I had a double ear infection and a chest infection.  I took my antibiotics but wasn't feeling completely better.  I decided to do what I had vowed never to do again and make an appointment with my doctor.  The day of the appointment came and my regular doctor ended up getting sick so I was sent to another doctor.


I saw Dr. Conner and he asked if I had any other concerns besides my ear infection.  I mentioned the pain I was having and the things the previous doctor had said.  He looked up my blood results and decided I really needed to see a rheumatologist.  He got me on pain medicine and an anti-inflammatory plus he set me up with a referral for the rheumatologist.  I will forever be grateful for Dr. Conner.  Because of him, I am getting the help I need.


How does this relate to tender mercies?  The Lord knew I had given up so He put a situation in my life which led me to people who could help me.  I was also blessed to have a wonderful visiting teaching companion who is my age and also has RA.  I knew I could talk to her and she would understand everything I was feeling physically and emotionally.  This situation taught me that Lord is aware and will bless us in unexpected ways.


Moment Two:   I started hearing this thumping sound in my ear a few months ago.  Once again I brushed it off but then I got sick and went to the doctor.  Since I was at the doctor, I thought I would mention it.  I learned this could be a sign of a brain tumor or aneurysm.  It wasn't cool to hear that and I was sent to an Ear, Nose, Throat Specialist for a second opinion.  After a very scary MRI, I learned I don't have a brain tumor or aneurysm but the thumping may be caused due to a lack of oxygen.  The ENT wanted me to do a sleep study and I was diagnosed with severe sleep apnea.  Now I get to wear a nifty mask when I sleep to help me breath.  The point is, my body is now able to get the rest it actually needs and my quality of life is improving.


Maybe this is a silly example, but I would never have gotten a sleep study if it hadn't been for this darn ear thumping.  I know the Lord is aware because He has put these things in my life and I have come out better in the end.  I cannot and do not doubt the Lord loves me because I have seen His hand in my life.  I know there are many more instances in my life but I need to look for them.