Poison

I decided September 15, this would be a year of change for me. I was going to change the things I really needed to and finally become a better person. On my way home from work, I was thinking one way to do this is to rid myself of all the poison in my life. (Before you call 911, I'm not about to drink any or rub any into open flesh wounds.) I need to get rid of all these things that just bring me down and slowly (sometimes quickly) strangle me.

Tonight's poison is T-_________ or should I say _-Mobile? Before you read further this is not about their cell phone service or phones. As many of you know, I have been working there for little over a year and I think they have done everything they can think of to tear me down. My coaches (That is tmo speak for the supervisor's supervisor. Everyone has one and yep, you guessed it their job is to coach on being better at our job.) have all criticized me for various reasons. My favorites have occurred with my current coach, are you ready? You're not personable and this was the first time she spoke to me. The second day I got an email, you were at your seat a minute late, don't let this become a habit. The best was today. I got an email about 15 minutes before the end of shift, pretty much stating what's wrong with you? Why can't you do this? And, if (like that, if? Does that mean I am just lucky today she noticed me?) I invest time in you I expect results.

You see the poison? I need to get it out, because this job/these people make me feel worthless. I come to work and help the customers. I do exactly what they want, I'm courteous, speedy, and sympathetic. But it is never enough. There have been so many tears shed over these thoughtless comments. It is eating me up and I don't want it to! I want to be rid of this, but it is so hard not to let these things tear at me. I keep telling myself there are lessons to be learned here and I will be a better person because of this. Why do we have to be knocked down to be built?