?

I have to start by saying my life is full of miracles! I moved here to Utah and found an amazing teaching job pretty fast, I somehow survived money wise until my first paycheck, and I just found an apartment. I see all of these wonderful things around me and I feel my Heavenly Father's love yet why do I still feel sad? Why is that seeing the goodness in my life isn't enough to make rainbows? I feel like it should be enough and I pretend it is just so people won't see me.