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I learned today how my student died, he committed suicide. It makes me wonder what was happening. He was almost 14 and yet he felt there was nothing left to live for. I don't understand what could be so wrong that he had no more hope. I admit, I understand what it feels like to be depressed, but I don't know what it is like to have no hope, no matter how small. As I have thought about what has pulled me back in those moments of deep despair and it is the gospel. I think there is always hope, if we believe in the atonement. I am not saying this belief makes the depression easier, because it doesn't always, but it gives light.

I wish things could have been better for Ray. I wish he had someone he could have turned to who would have helped him see the light at the end of the despair. I wonder if there are signs that we miss because we are so caught up in our own pain. I honestly don't think there was anything I could have done for him, but I still wonder, was there something someone could have done. I am glad he is with Heavenly Father and that his pain can be erased. It just makes me think about how much we really need to take care of each other.