Two-edged Sword

I had a good doctor's appointment today. The doctor confirmed something I suspected that I have rheumatoid arthritis (hereafter call RA). I thought I was prepared for hearing the news but it turns out it is different when the doctor comes in with a pamphlet and a diagnosis. I am so glad I now have a name for my situation. At the same time, reality has hit, this is something that will never go away. This is now a part of my life that I cannot change. To be honest, I am not sure I would change it. I already feel more empathetic and sympathetic to people with chronic pain. I know how I feel and I honestly don't know how Dad can even function. You know, I am also pretty sure I volunteered for this in the premortal life. I can't explain why exactly, but I have a feeling I was eager to prove I would be faithful no matter what. I will prove that.

I also learned today there is a good possibility I have arthritis in my back. The doctor is doing a ton of blood work and he is checking for a genetic marker which would indicate it. I'm not sure what he will find, but he said he would help me feel better. I admit I still have my fears about treatment and diagnosis but I will trust him. More importantly I will trust my Savior who has told me in blessings that I will find doctors and treatments to help me throughout my life. I was also told I would lead a reasonable life and strength would return. I know whole heartedly I will survive this because of faith, the gospel, and my family. I can't imagine what I would do if I didn't have those things in my life.