Trip

Lately I seem to be taking many trips down memory lane. I can't make much sense of these trips. I am one of those people who likes to live in the present. Sure, I have many things which haunt me but for the most part I recognize my life for what it is and not try to compare it to previous times. I think these trips are because I am starting over in the Northwest for the second time in my life. I really did enjoy my time in Oregon, but I left for a reason and I don't want my time in Washington to be a repeat of that. I guess the real question is how do I learn to enjoy the past without fearing what it means for the future?

My Friends

The other night I watched a video my friends and I had made in Oregon and it hit me how much I miss all of them. They really were the best bunch of friends a girl could ask for.

It is Done!

Today was a very big day for me, I have officially completed my Master's Degree.  All of my assignments have been graded and turned in, plus each of my classes if finally over.  I am very excited by done, but also sad at the same time.  I realized today I won't be seeing my fellow students again for a very long time, if ever.  They really got me through the difficult moments by commiserating with me about teachers and assignments.  It is wonderful that seemingly different people are able to come together and become bonded over a common experience.

My other thought is wow, I have just achieved a life long goal, what do I do now?  What I have really enjoyed about the program is that I have been working towards a specific goal that had a definite beginning and an end date.  I knew exactly what I needed to do in order to make it to the end and I could even see the end.  I wish all of my other goals could be as clear cut.  Such is life!

I am excited though because it means I can finally move on.  I am really looking forward to moving in the next few weeks and starting a whole new life close to my family.  (I couldn't have completed my program without them either.  My dearest Momita listened to many complaints and edited papers for me. )  I am just sitting here realizing, I really have accomplished something wonderful, and it feels amazing!

Thoughts on Feminism

This week I took a class on Educational Philosophy, and I have to say it was pretty interesting. As part of my class requirements I had to give an hour and a half presentation on 3 different philosophers. One of these was a woman by the name of Mary Wollstonecraft (her daughter is the author of Frankenstein). Learning about her brought up a subject I try to avoid, Feminism. I was actually very surprised as I read her thoughts. I have always thought of Feminists as man haters, but I found her views closely echo my own.

Mary Wollstonecraft points out she doesn't want women to emulate masculine virtues but wants women to be educated and be given more opportunities. I completely agree, women should be educated and be allowed to more than a mere fixture in society. I also agree that men and women have different roles to fulfill in the world. I don't think a woman should be the bread winner or the head of a household. I think women should embrace the role they have been given instead of trying to take on the role men have been appointed.

I recognize by writing this I may offend many of fellow sisters, but I am not sorry for feeling this way. I feel society has made the push to respect women and in turn have forgotten to respect men. What is so wrong with being a woman who is educated, intelligent, and wants to be just that, a woman?

Decision

I have made a very crucial decision tonight, and here it is. I am worth it! I don't fit into a mold, I am not a carbon copy of anyone else. Maybe life would be easier if I did fit the world's perception of who I should be. If I let the world determine who I should be, I will never be happy. I want to be who the Lord made me. I am a full figured woman who is independent and sarcastic but is also kind, caring, spiritual, and good. Perhaps the people around me will never see it, but the Lord has opened my eyes and I like what I see. So there you have it, I am me and I am worth it!

Date

It is 2:20 in the morning and I can't sleep for the 3rd time this week. So, I figured maybe my mind will quiet down if I empty it of thoughts. I went on a blind date tonight. The date started off well. We went miniature golfing and then to get shakes at Iceburg. While at Iceburg we got on the subject of cultural traditions and cremation came up. I asked his opinion on the subject and he is totally against it because he doesn't want to destroy his body. I told him I was for it because I don't like the thought of my body rotting away in the ground. I also told him it would be nice to just be twinkled at the Second Coming. His response was maybe I could just be burned with the wicked because it was free cremation. Nice right? I have never had anyone even joke with me about being considered one of the wicked. Needless to say, the night went down hill from there.

On the road to my home he was talking about why he lived in Utah. One of his reasons is because he is single. I asked him why it was good to be single in Utah. Of course his reason was there are more options here. He wondered if I disagreed. I told him I did and that I had more opportunities for marriage in Oregon. He proceeded to tell me the reason was I was too old when I moved here and I am not Utah material.

I know he is just some guy I don't ever have to see again, but he really hurt my feelings. For the past three years I have been trying to convince myself of all the reasons I am single. Then to hear from a boy I am not "Utah material" really makes me question what kind of material I am. Hearing him speak those words was a realization of my worst fears, I am old and I am different. I know I don't fit in here, but I somehow hoped it was just me being over sensitive. I guess I was wrong.

I hope you are all sitting down

Just as the title suggests, I hope everyone who reads this is sitting down. If you aren't you may want to grab a chair before you fall over with shock. Are you ready? I am actually going on a date this week. I am just as surprised as all of you. One of my co-workers has set me up with a friend of hers. He called me last night and he seems like a nice guy. I am looking forward to going out. I haven't been on a date in a very long time. The best part about this one is there is no pressure because I am moving. I just get to enjoy leaving my apartment without worrying if this is going to lead to anything. It is pretty fabulous! I will keep everyone posted.