We are our Choices

So, as I was thinking about what to write on my blog, a wonderful idea popped into my head. Then, life happens and now something completely different is on my mind. There is this person back in Oregon who I was really close to. We did almost everything together and I loved him. When I say I love, I don't mean I wanted to marry him, but I loved him in a very real and true sense of the word. Anyways, our relationship was not a healthy one. I used to think we played this game called, "you hurt me so I am now going to hurt you." I didn't like the things I was doing, saying, or the person I was becoming. (Side note: for all those who are concerned here, I was not using swear words, doing drugs, drinking, smoking, and I was only on the yellow light as far as chastity goes.) I made the very painful decision to cut this person out of my life. I have to admit cutting this person out has been probably the hardest thing I have ever done. It is not easy to say goodbye to someone you love when they are still around. I have moved on. I have not talked to this person for probably a year and a half, but every once in a while he tries to contact me. I guess this is why I am currently thinking about this. He sent me an IM saying he wants to talk to me. It hurts me to just ignore him, but at the same time I can't handle the pain of having him in my life. Is it wrong to just cut someone out? How can I feel good about this when I know my decision hurts another person?

My one comfort is knowing even though this may seem cruel, I know I am a stronger and healthier person for it. I know now who I am and what influences I want in my life. I am not saying this person is a bad person, but I don't want to become him and I am afraid I was. Where would I be if the atonement was not real and Heavenly Father hadn't helped me see clearly? I am so grateful there is always a way back and my path is no longer skimming the periphery of the iron rod.